After several months of living in New Zealand, where I experienced the village in the context of radical responsibility, connection at the level of the heart and a deep sense of existence, the winds temporarily brought me back to Poland. I knew that I didn’t want to live the old way anymore, as a nuclear family. I decided that while I was here I wanted to create some form of an Archan Village. That’s how Polana Bridge-House was created, where 10 adults and six children live together and discover what living in the New Culture is like.
I felt a lot of fear at creating this project with people I didn’t yet know well, with Poles and our Polish boxes. My Gremlin was very keen to prove that it was impossible to create it here, that we Poles, whose background is steeped in the energies of war, rivalry, combination, hiding, are not able to collaborate as adult Beings. My box, which is, among other things, the box of the Great-Polish Mother tried to keep me convinced that I didn’t need people around me, that I could manage everything on my own. My perfectionist box said that I would embrace even more than I usually do, that the 6 children in my care is a piece of cake, that I would show others that I could do that without any effort. My PM box wanted to push on the processes I thought were necessary, he assumed he knew what needed to be done, how and when.
All these mechanisms were numbing me feelings. It numbed me from feeling what was alive in me and in the space at the moment. One day, when my box of Great-Polish Mother began to fall apart, others began to ask me if I needed anything. Answering „No” to four different people each time, I felt that pretending to be strong was no longer working for me. The pain of being alone was too much. I went to the nearest women’s house and there began my process of transforming my thouthwere that I didn’t need people. I touched the pain of isolation, of putting pressure on myself that I had to be something, that I had to manage, that I couldn’t ask or receive help, that I had to hold myself and space all the time, the pain of being separated. And I felt the greatest pain when I allowed myself to see that the experiential reality I am in now shows me quite the opposite evidence, that there are people who surround me with love and care for no reason, that the village in our Polish mini-community works. I felt a lot of sadness and joy at this discovery, and anger that I no longer want to give my Gremlin the right to look for evidences that the village doesn’t work, so that I continue to live in the belief that I don’t need people around me.
Something has changed in me.
I let go. I let go of the pressure, the pressure on what the day should look like, what should take place, what I should be like. When I stopped focusing on what wasn’t there, and what my box decided was supposed to be, I started looking with my heart and feeling what really was. This was the moment where I began to allow myself to feel the joy of being here. I began to notice that there was magic happening, that there were Bright Principles in the space that were working in exactly the direction that the space and each of us individually needed. I let go that I needed to hold space. I saw that the space was already working for us.
Our Bridge-House is on the site of the former Polish Army. When I saw the big „Polish Army” sign on the entrance, the buildings of the shelters and the rocket building I didn’t yet know what it was about. Now I feel that the fact that we are here is very symbolic. By living together and experiencing what the New Culture is, we are changing the paradigm of cooperation between Poles. A cooperation that is towards life, not death. Being here, in the land of the former army, I feel the energies of commitment, perseverance and determination. And I value these energies in us, Poles. The difference is that now we don’t have to use these energies to defend ourselves. We can use them to create more aliveness in us and the Polish village, so that our potentials as healers, shamans, evolutionists can be fully realized.
To create a village, become a village
How do you create a village that is based on Bright Principles and emerges from the New Culture that is the Archiarchy? Which patriarchal strategies do I need to let go that hold in the belief that I don’t need anyone?
These questions have been with me since I left Poland almost a year ago in search of the community I want to live in. I am in the process of becoming a Village.
For me, being a Village is a Quality that I am discovering. It is a quality that makes me not creating a village, but making a village happening where I am.
In my journey, I have experienced grief many times. There were losses of values to which my box was attached. Losses of my material possessions, my apartment, my habits of living in a city where there is access to everything. The losses of the (ilusionary) security that being in Poland gave me, a country I know well, the friends I have here, and my lockstep on a system I didn’t want to fit into. The loss of my biological family, with whom it turned out I had much less in common than with people I had met on my journey. The loss of my business and the monthly passive financing that gave me „peace of mind” but actually numbed me from feeling the fear of what’s next. I got over a life that was peaceful and secure and exchanged it for a life that is alive and unknown. And it is the best life I ever experienced. It turns out that I don’t need anything to have everything. It turns out that building a majestic wall around myself consisting of all the above mentioned elements was moving me further and further away from living a life of connection with myself and others. I am now experiencing that possessing doesn’t mean I am wealthy. Letting go of it all and opening up to people is the greatest abundance I can experience. I am in the Bridge-House and I accept what others bring. When I let go of stories, expectations and assumptions I make space to experience others, their unique qualities and diversity. This is living in abundance for me. This is for me the gift of living in a Village.
It is not possible to create a village. A village is something that is experienced. I find that if I want to experience the village then I need to make space within myself (give up my strategies, habits that separate me from others) and open myself to the flow and abundance that is around me. Then the village is always there where I am.
